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  • Writer's pictureRyan Weiner

Eagles Sign WR for Late Season Push

Note: Article is not based off of real news, and is meant for satirical purposes.

PHILADELPHIA, PA- This morning at 11:13 AM, the Philadelphia Eagles signed eight year old Timmy Johnson after hearing that he is capable of catching a football. During a press conference after yesterday's practice, Eagles coach Doug Peterson said that Timmy possessed better catching abilities than most of their receivers, and that he hopes Timmy will help the team win the division, and make the playoffs. Previously, Timmy played for the PeeWee Titans in his hometown of Lancaster, PA. He will be able to join the team in their next game against the New York Giants.

"It has always been my dream to be with the Eagles because they're super cool," said Timmy. At his most recent game against the PeeWee Patriots, Timmy recorded eight receptions for 102 yards and one touchdown. Eagles scouts were present at the game, where they offered the young boy a two year, 15 million dollar contract.

"From the age of four, Timmy could catch any ball thrown to him," said Timmy's father Andre, "he just possesses a great ability, and we're very grateful that the Eagles were willing to give him a chance." Unfortunately, since Timmy's contract put the Eagles over the salary cap, WR Nelson Agholor was released.

When asked, Pederson said that, "Agholor was dropping passes, and that's something that the team can't afford. But, Timmy is a complete package, and I feel confident in his abilities." Sadly, during his first practice with the team, Timmy got a low ankle sprain. His status for Monday night's game is now questionable.

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